I won't underestimate the power of healing!

Isaiah getting his x-ray and he did GREAT

Playing grocery store with Lane

Our first ride to drop Caden at school

These 2 are slowly learning to share, SLOWLY

Hide and seek moment...

Adjusting to sharing but still remains the PRINCESS

They love Donald and LOLO

This kid is my heart!!!!

Update! Here we are…in the midst of our beautiful chaos but I feel pretty happy this week because how crazy that adding another child to the mix is what has motivated to me ensure our 6:30pm bedtime every SINGLE NIGHT! Yep! I have officially gotten my kids in bed and asleep so I have some time with Ryan and to decompress before the NEXT day of crazy madness in a GOOD WAY of course. 

If you spoke to me within the first week of home, you probably were mixed with emotions on how to read me. I was happy, sad, and scared all in one and you could hear it in my voice and in my stories. Despite knowing God is the facilitator of it all and in control I was totally overcome and controlled by my emotions, rightfully so. Adjustment for any change is hard right? And anything worth something is going to have some work! If it’s to good to be true it usually is. The work behind the reward is inspiring and often used to encourage others. Hardship always has purpose. 

So basically the first week and half for us was adjusting to jet lag, tears, changes, and children all adjusting while mom and dad are trying to do the same. As with any family adding a new member whether adoption or biological. We had some rough days last week, Sunday and Monday kicked us in the butt. Then Tuesday was my turning point….

So we got an x-ray this week and Isaiah's looked fairly good. We are going to be running a few other test and I am waiting on the list to get into a specialist in Columbus, Ohio for Isaiah. My gut says to go that travel route, so I am following my gut. One thing I have learned is that when we are praying for something, our GUT is what He often uses to lead along with doors opening and closing. I have also learned a lack of peace means DOOR CLOSED. So being confident in that decision is what I have finally come to grasp. He leads with His spirit in us and the gut is our first cue, especially as a mother making decisions for her children. So that’s my feeling and I am rolling with it. That gave me some hope. Now the process of waiting begins. I have learned not to limit God, because it is in the facts, reality, and even the opinions from others that sometimes it is easy to just accept what we think is the outcome. THIS time I AM NOT! I am believing that if we are suppose to get into that doctor, which I feel strongly by faith we are, then I will wait. I know the reality is it could be 7 months but I also won't limit God because it could be 7 weeks, who knows. I am trusting....BUT would you believe….in the process of waiting God connected me an awesome mother states away who has been dropped into my life, a woman I met through her blog because she adopted and had similar situation as us, a pediatric nurse, who has been amazing and so supportive. She has been on the phone, text, and just all around been an encourager to me. She has guided me in wisdom, knowledge, and even some helpful solutions for Isaiah. This IS NOT by accident that we met. I am so thankful for her!!!! I was so humbled in being reminded ONCE AGAIN, God is working out the details for our family and sweet Isaiah. 

Would you ALSO believe that in the process of talking to a family member this week, that family member sent off an email to a friend who replied this: “...small world I worked closely with that doctor and know him well….”. WHAT ARE THE ODDS? WHAT ARE THE ODDS??? Ok I am once again understanding that in the midst of my fear and uncertainties…GOD KEEPS REASSURING ME… 'I am writing a story and if you will sit back and trust, I will take care of every single detail.’ Ok. I’ll sit back. It’s not easy, but your way is better than mine (I will keep saying it over and over until I fully, whole heartedly, strongly, boldly, believe it)….YOU ARE A HEALER and I know without a shadow of doubt that YOU CAN AND WILL heal this precious boy. Healing comes in all forms instant, slowly, through peace, through comfort, etc…. Isaiah will THRIVE. I know that.

My favorite reminder....
Isaiah 25:1  - O Lord, I will honor and praise your name, for you are my God. You do such wonderful things! You planned them long ago, and now you have accomplished them.

In the meantime, I will rest and enjoy watching the story unfold of how my family is slowly but surely letting our hearts bind in this really amazing new way. It’s a process. I love in the mornings when Isaiah sees me and his EYES LITERALLY LIGHT UP AND HE SAYS HEYYYY and he is so excited, it makes my heart flutter now. Ahhhh I was waiting for that and now I get those precious moments every morning.  I love seeing Isaiah open his arms wide to hug me and he squeezes me like he knows YOU'RE MY MAMA! – it’s a beautiful thing to see he has bonded so quickly to me, it’s an answered prayer no doubt! Bonding takes some people short times and others longer but GOD IS ALWAYS FAITHFUL. He is the author of my story, I am learning to surrender the pen daily, which is hard but worth it…Keep writing my heavenly father keep writing…..

TIL NEXT TIME!

The good, the GREAT and the UGLY: calling for prayers....

He runs up to me and wants me to pick him up and give him big hugs! It melts me. He is turning from seeing me as a caregiver to his mama :-)

This is Sally Koch's granddaughter. These 2 are precious children God loves and blessed both families through adoption

The good: What a week. Monday was rough and ever since then it is like the prayers, the love, the meal train foods, the wonderful thoughts have poured in and covered this family because it has been going so well!!! THANK YALL! I SHARE FROM A DEEP PLACE OF APPRECIATION!!! !PRAYERS ARE SO POWERFUL. Isaiah wakes up only once in the night and goes right back down to sleep. He has learned to climb out of the crib, not good, but he is such a sweet boy that right when I put him down he feels secure and goes right back to sleep until the morning. I usually will sleep the second half of the night in the bed next to his crib and he feels safe and secure. This morning he woke up playing in his crib, smiling,and then greeted me with a hello and a wave when I came in. It was precious. Then we went and got Lane out of her crib and they talked to each other through the railings in baby babble and with smiles. This was a first, I love seeing the two warm up. They are a bit territorial and learning to share toys, mom, and food in the process of this all. I feel like I have twins almost, I mediate between the two often throughout the day but I can sense it in my heart they will be so so so close. This morning at breakfast we were all sitting around and I had this moment I saw it, months ahead down the road when everything has finally meshed and feels normal…ahhhh…can we get there now GOD? Ok Ok I know patience I am learning BE STILL…..but when we do get there it will be such a fun, happy, & laughing group. I can’t wait to get there!!! Until then I take a day at a time and I am learning patience to the extreme: ONE.DAY.AT.A.TIME! I feel like I need a sticker made to remind me each morning when I look in the mirror! 

The great: Last night was fun. I wanted a fire, it just feels so peaceful and serene, anything these days for a moment of serenity. So Ryan made one and Isaiah loved watching it. It was his first. We also put him in footy pjs and it was hilarious to watch him love to slide around. He was so funny last night, he did all kinds of things that let us see that adorable personality slowly come out. HE HAS A LOT OF IT!!! He was dancing and he loves music! He laughed, played jokes, slid around in his pjs, blew bubbles in the bath tub and laughed hysterically, ate up his jambalaya and he LOVES peas (and also loves to feed Dude our dog who is already pushing the weight), and we just had fun. These moments are SOO OSOOOOO SOO valuable in the process of making abnormal feel so normal. I see now, in anything from healing to adapting to change, it is part of the process of letting our amazing Heavenly Father use each of these blessings/moments He gives used to knit the hearts together and slowly paint the bigger picture of what is in the works. I feel them in my heart, little movements that make me see and understand this process deeply, heart flutters almost. This is a hard but rewarding adventure, it truly is a daily trust-filled walk and a GOD THING. I HAVE NEVER had to depend so deeply on God for progress. I prayed for change, I prayed to be used more by Him, I prayed for Him to enlarge my territory for greater purposes…I had no clue what was about to happen and I see now – HE IS USING THIS BEAUTIFULLY DESIGNED ADOPTION PROCESS TO change me and Ryan from the inside out….so many ways. I get it, God doesn’t create adversity and He doesn’t allow anything to happen in our lives that cannot bring us closer to Him and grow us for His greater purposes. Gosh easier said than done but how true it is. And a blind walk being guided by His hand is even harder. 

We have been blessed beyond measure with all the things from in China to our trip home and settling here. I can’t even begin to list them all….trust me…your prayers have truly brought us blessings poured out and running over (Ephesians 3:20). I have heard, read, and listened to many stories that are far from the same. I am humbled and do NOT take for granted one single blessing in this process. I can’t thank you enough. I can’t. I mean words can’t even tell you….

The ugly: Calling all prayer warriors : So Isaiah has a special need as I have said before, China is special needs adoptions only. They range from  just a pair of glasses to extreme cases. We met many parents in China who felt called for various needs, it was amazing to see their hearts. Every child is precious and every child desires a place they can call home, even in the rough transition of them leaving everything they have ever known. Isaiah having a mother and father is such a gift, he will also have cheerleaders, supporters, encouragers, and those who love him through the good, the bad and the ugly. 

Our sweet boy has a rare stomach medical issue that is hurting him, resulting in a very bad diaper rash right now. He has taken on a lot with the changes in home, foods, and schedules. It is a lot. The orphanage doesn’t tell you a whole lot about schedule, foods, and more. We did get some basic info but it is us trying to figure it out and hoping doctors can help. We went to the doctor yesterday and it is hard when you adopt because often times there are needs that require a specialist, he has one who is amazing and we have begun talking to in Columbus, OH. It can take months to get in. Isaiah is still yet so happy, despite the discomfort he has daily right now. I am praying this diaper rash goes away. I am praying deeply even more that we get in to that doctor in Columbus sooner rather than later, I am praying God’s will be done but as I have seen, HE HAS OPENED so many doors I could not have done myself. 

He loves music & loves to dance

So I write this blog asking you, all prayer warriors, to join in once again with me…for healing for Isaiah so he can get rest, comfort, and ease…and for wisdom over the doctors we are working with and even more…for miracles to open before us with the doctor/hospital in Columbus. As I have promised, I will keep sharing with you all so you can see the FRUIT AND BLESSINGS your prayers bring to this sweet boy and that this family gets to be a part of. Pray for this mama too…I have been uplifted, broken down, but then much more encouraged by many of you through the acts of kindness and the prayers. The food has been music to Ryan’s stomach! LOL. Keep praying for Ryan too, it is a lot to try to jump back into work, trying to bond and share time with 3 kids, he needs prayers and encouragement so send away to him!!! I am so blessed to call him my hubby!!!! Thank you. This story has been eventful and sure it is hard to jump into a travel back from China, a medical need I am trying to figure out that requires a lot of my attention to ensure his comfort, but most all and more so it hurts a mama’s heart when you see your children cry. His tears in diaper changes all day and sometimes in the night often bring me to my knees begging God give me the strength, wisdom and ability to carry through. And always, I get these precious moments of this happy baby, my children playing together, and I am quickly reminded…HE IS WITH ME (Isaiah 41:10 Do not fear for I am with you, do not be discouraged FOR I AM YOUR GOD…). Isaiah will be ok. He will. Calling all prayer warriors to open those doors of healing, doctors, and whatever his needs are. This child is going to CONTINUE thriving. xoxo

It's the little things...yesterday was the hardest day yet!

A good moment yesterday with Isaiah and Lane

Seeing Caden off to school

watching Polar Express with popcorn

It’s the little things….

Yesterday was the hardest day yet of them all. Probably harder than gotcha day experience. Isaiah had hardly slept the night before and pretty much cried all day. Orphans tend to to have to embrace many changes: they slept in a room with many other kids, they are seeing all kinds of different things from people to rooms, even to his body adjusting from sleeping 2 years on China time. Also, what is common experiencing the night terrors and so the changes had him up screaming 2 nights ago at 11pm, 1am, 3am, 5am….so Ryan and I had hardly slept and went into Monday (also with jet lag) with Isaiah having been up since 1:30am, Caden waking 4:30am, and Lane 5:30am. I ran on fumes. I hardly made it through the day (so it felt). It was a day of tears, cries, exhaustion, and basically a dire need for prayers to be answered…and they were, God is faithful to me and RYan over and over again. In the mist of a really bad day...God dropped so many blessings in it:

• A dear friend came by who also adopted from China, and lifted my spirits with encouraging words. 
• I had another friend pick up Caden for school, whew what a help! 
• My mother came by and offered to take Caden and Lane so they could sleep well last night and THEY DID! 
• Another 2 friends dropped by with dinner! 
• And my sweet sister always steps in to help make me smile and laugh….so in my heavy day.

God sent the army to lift my spirits. HARD HARD HARD DAY but as always, these are the very days that make me appreciate THE LITTLE THINGS above that go a BIG LONG WAY!

Last night, minus 2 kids, we gave Isaiah some one-on-one time and some Melatonin to help his restless body…and he slept like a baby! Yes! What What great feeling for us all to sleep but even better to know he slept so well. He fell asleep at 7, woke GETTING OUT OF HIS CRIB YES, and went back down with no tears at 11pm and I laid in the bed next to crib, which allowed him to sleep well through the remainder of the night. As I sip my coffee this morning with Ryan, I am in heaven. THAT is what I consider a great morning and a true peaceful moment that I use to take for granted that now means so much! Sleep, coffee, a minute with my husband, and a rested body is NOW GOLDEN TO ME! Amen to that! And believe it or not I am tackling today as a GOOD DAY that lies ahead. I am leaving yesterday behind. It is so easy to carry the troubles over…but nope…I am leaving them behind. I know it won’t be perfect always but I am going to carry an optimistic attitude knowing that as I prayed before bed last night, ‘Lord please please let us sleep, our minds are weary and crumbling to pieces all of us….please make a miracle and let this child sleep deeply’ - AND SO HE DID. How reassuring!

I have found that it is in all the little things I tend to overlook, those little things are small blessings dropped in my path throughout the days. I get caught up in the big picture and miss these, and these are the very things that help me see… “I AM WITH YOU” (Isaiah 41:10 my favorite Do not fear for I am with you, do not be discouraged for I am your God, I will strengthen you and help you…..) Yesterday rocked my world upside down…and I see all those little things (blessings) that God used through those people to keep me going when I hardly could, so today…and every day forward I am going to THANK HIM and recognize…the little things. THIS CUP OF COFFEE taste that much better…I am sure you hear my enthusiasm in this as well, a quiet house with rested kids and a happy husband with a good cup of coffee…ahhh…the little things. Life is good. God’s plan is bigger. Thank you Lord…it’s the little things that make me smile!

Keep praying for him over these next 2 weeks...his little mind and body is adjusting to so much so fast! THANK YOU!

Devotion for today IRONICALLY

Home sweet home and more....

Loves breakfast time!

Lanes birthday cake 

Sweetest big brother

Staring out the breakfast window in his new booster seat

cake anyone?

So this morning while sipping coffee I began to think all these things…and decided to share. Seeing my 3 children play together these last couple days makes my heart full. We have been truly struggling with jet lag, but already just after 2 days, we are seeing SUCCESS IN SLEEP! They all slept in today until 6-6:30am!!!! YAY!!!! No waking at 12am, 3am, 5am! 

A few things I want to share that have made me smile and are showing transitions AND ALL THE PRAYERS FOR US are being answered because Isaiah is taking to….and settling well.

• He loves his house. He is happy in it. Slept great in his room and loves his bed. Has sound machine and he is settling in well.
• Loves the playroom and playing with toys. Just discovered what a swing was and loves it. Doesn’t understand not to walk in front of it yet, but working on it. 
• Lane was crying yesterday and Isaiah reached to hug her. Talk about melt my heart.
• Caden loves having all these kids. He wakes up and wants to wake up everyone to play with him! HELP!
• Seeing the kids all play peek a boo together, Isaiah learned “boo” and loves it…seeing them play settles my anxious heart these days. 
• He loves sitting in a booster chair and eating. At the orphanage the caregivers sat them on their lap as they fed them. He likes the chair, was so happy this AM at breakfast. Loves food. Loves life.
• He likes people. We have laid low and prob will continue to do so for a week or so…but he is very social. We went to the park and he loved it. I strolled all 3 over there. Yep. I did it!!!! Mischa and her 3 girls dropped some groceries by last night and saw him and he flirted, laughed, and smiled at the girls. Loved them. He truly loves flirting which is hilarious. 
• He is almost 2 (Nov 10) and he babbles but he babbles in these Chinese sorta words is cute and funny.
• We did birthday cake for Lane and Caden, Isaiah doesnt like sweets! 
• Isaiah LOVES MUSIC! It makes him dance and smile
• He learns SO QUICKLY and is so smart. You tell him a word and he repeats it. You teach him something and he learns it. 
• HE IS HAPPY. We prayed for him from when he was born to the day we got him. You can see the favor poured. I understand he was in an orphanage, but I see such favor in so many ways. Even the way he has attached to BOTH RYAN AND I. He favors me still but the fact he lets Ryan hold, carry, stroll, feed, and interact with him is huge. That is NOT common. He takes to all quickly too. Sometimes they can be very reserved and standoffish upon leaving the orphanage as we were prepared, but he has not showed any signs of that over the last 2.5 weeks. Very outgoing, very happy…. 
• PLEASE DO KEEP PRAYING for us as parents to muster the strength required for this daily walk, to have wisdom going forward with all the kids and Isaiah etc. We will soon arrange doctors appointments as it is required to get medical checked up post China, from OUR DOCTORS and pray for all of these things. Pray for peace, favor, continued security and bonding. YALL HAVE BEEN SO GOOD TO US. The 2 flights were TOTALLY BLESSED by prayers, they SLEPT ON THEM BOTH!!!!! It was smooth. I can’t even get over it. And even the jet lag has only taken 2 days of recovery versus 4+!!!! AMEN TO THAT!!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!!!! I will keep you posted….thank you for covering our family in prayers. It means the WORLD TO US!!!!! 

Answered prayers they slept the whole 12 hours pretty much!

New sibling love...God is working in the hearts of us all

Loves the swing! Caden playing with him here

Here is something I also wanted to share…. that may answer some of those questions who may in fact have seen our journey and pondered adoption or maybe just related to something in it. I hope it helps or encourages wherever you are. Our journeys with children biological or adoption are all obviously designed differently, with many things that we can relate but also many thing that are different. My experiences and opinions can be totally different from another's. So this is only sharing from my perspective so take what you will. Much XO

Pre adoption:

• It requires 100% commitment: Unlike biological where it unfolded for me month by month, this journey took preparation, time, patience, effort, determination and most of all faith. Many people have been set back for reasons they think that perhaps make it impossible, nothing is impossible (Mark 9:23). And I look back seeing how fast it flew by and what favor we had over all of those tasks…the work and effort are like the labor pains and build the appreciation for the blessing that waits ahead.
• If you have the desire in your heart, then explore it : God creates people with the desire to adopt. His heart is big for orphans and widows as it is said. He loves children. I found as I began to explore, read, pray, and ask questions the doors begin to open and the plan began to unfold step by step. The right people were placed in my path, the knowledge, etc. If it isn’t those doors will shut, and praying for a content heart is critical.
• Get in agreement with your spouse: I had to wait patiently while Ryan’s heart to be perfectly prepared (this is often required I have noticed). God moves hearts when we faithfully pray but this takes time, respect, patience and willingness to grow personally. I have realized that whatever the obstacle or task or goal was in front of us, it required to be in agreement with each other. In the past when I have wanted something, I understood to press ahead despite any obstacles (causing problems). Now more than ever, I understand the value, importance and even the dangers of pushing ahead without the consent, agreement, and team work of coming together. When one person isn’t on the same page it means two things to me: 1) patience because it is not the right time, to keep praying and waiting faithfully to see what His will is 2) perhaps it is not the best idea, despite my thinking it is so…and this is a closed door
• Pray, ask, seek, and explore questions in finding the agency that best fits your personality : it is wise to ask around different peoples experiences with domestic or international. Ask them what they liked, didn’t like, and what they suggest. Absorb as much as you can, then make a decision that is best for you. These people will be on your journey beginning to end, once you sign a contract you need to be comfortable and happy as they are part of the journey. Don’t rush, take your time here.
• Talk to your spouse in depth on domestic or international and which country: this is important even if your spouse doesn’t act like he has a preference. Explore, meet with other couples and ask questions, do your homework before you decide. These are important decisions because they all carry very different experiences, requirements, timelines, and travel details. The ages also carry a variety of experiences. Spouses will often guide each other here not even knowing it. 
• Have an open mind: I realize that God picked Isaiah for us. I realize now, going in, we knew a lot and we didn’t know a lot, and that’s ok. While it has been emotionally full, it has been a dive in head first (no different from when we brought Caden home and had to learn it all as we went) No amount of books prepare you. It is an experience that brings challenges and joy. It is something that brings hard days, some tears, more joy, and most of all an overflow of miracles and faith and peace that ONLY GOD can do. Ryan and I have truly experienced a closeness in our marriage that has glued us together in the deepest way possible, my heart is full typing that. It has also brought a daily dependency to pray deep for each of our kids and ourselves and to never take the day for granted. We see how easy we had it before and now we see that our faith has been tested to be refined. This is part of slowly preparing for the bigger things we have both been seeking. Life is full of surprises, growth, tragedies, triumphs, victories, and walks that help us ultimately find our GOD DESIGNED purpose. Isaiah is that for us! Isaiah is the true walk of faith for us…we are excited because behind that precious squinty smiling face…there lies a gift God is waiting to unveil. Seeing my 3 children play together, seeing Isaiah reach to hug lane yesterday when she was crying, seeing them play peek a boo…all settles my anxious heart. Life is complex and good….perspective is everything….Faith is the tool we use as we get to each mile marker on this long race….I am humbled, blessed, and full of determination to pursue this race! Here we go!
• Remember God doesn’t call us to easy he calls us to stay faithful: No matter what season I am in, no matter what journey he has me traveling, no matter is set before me, HE IS REQUIRING me to learn to be still and to seek Him (peace) not the absence of the problem. SO SO SO HARD. But it is the key to leading a successful life in my eyes. So I am learning to be patient, to trust, and to know ALWAYS that God is at the helm even when I can’t see all the details. 
• Be prepared to see and experience MIRACLES: In adoption it is crazy HOW GOD SHOWS UP in so many ways. Me and Ryan have been left speechless a few times. IT JUST HAPPENS!
• My new motto for life: Life is complex and good all in one….but perspective is everything….AND faith is the tool I use at each mile marker on this long race….I am humbled, blessed, and full of determination to pursue! 

Keep on keepin' on in China ;-)

Excuse gram errors typing from phone

Monday

Today we went and applied for Isaiah’s Visa. We also got his medical exam cleared and then we all went to the zoo. It was a fun day. Isaiah loves his family but he is definitely attached to me. If I walk away from him for a second, he is uneasy. His tender heart has taken in a lot in the last 2 years. He had a few surgeries as an infant, I can only imagine what that does, especially not to have the hands of a mother/father or family member in the process of nursing him back to health. A touch goes far for a baby as we know. Statistics in our studies show( many orphans actually begin to quit crying, from having cried so long and not having their needs met, they accept they are not heard and eventually go silent :-(  That makes me so sad. Isaiah had a caregiver and some great people who definitely invested in him, because he is doing so well. When we got him he cried and cried for his orphanage person, the lady was actually a staff person not his actual caregiver. But he was use to seeing her every day and they obviously gave him a sense of comfort. His crying at first was hard but when we look back it was a good healthy sign that he connects and attaches well. So in time, we will be really doing good. Each day is a step in that direction because he feels very comfortable with us right now and is slowly attaching to Ryan as well. It usually takes a little more time with the same gender.  

We went to the zoo today. This was definitely a fun activity following the medical exam and exam that is just a basic check up before leaving. Nothing big. But as always, Isaiah starts to get nervous. Today he did well which made me think he is really starting to trust that me, Caden and Ryan won’t leave him. Amen to that! While waiting these other 3 families came in who were adopting as well. My eyes started to tear up, it was like I wanted to run straight to them and say oh my gosh, you understand us don’t you? It was so refreshing to see them. The mother I spoke with from Colorado was amazing. Heart of gold. Has 6 kids back home!!!!!! Of those 6 she had 5 biological and one child they adopted from Russia many years ago. This was their first China adoption and while the husband stayed with the kids back home, she traveled to China to get their son. She truly exuded her faith through her patience and gentle personality. Anyway, she was a breath of fresh air. So were the other people we met. All going through the same things. From the binge eating stories to the small little changes daily. We all shared. It was nice to get to talk with others who understood a few things I had on my heart.

Today has been  hard on me for some reason. I am struggling a little. Im just ready to go home. I am ready for us all to go to a sense of normalcy in a house not a hotel room. In all honesty, I am human and I have moments I wonder am I strong enough? Can I handle this? The answer is simple. No I am not, but as it says in my favorite verse, phil 4:13, I can do all things through Him who strengthens me…claiming this promise today and everyday…. it's a daily task but has big rewards. So here is a child who now is loved on daily, has siblings teaching him the joys of life, grandparents/aunts who pray and love him already tons, a home that he can call his, a promise in his future that he will go far. No more lifeless crib days, no more days of food insecurities, no more fears of being moved around and not knowing where you’re going next. No more. From here on little Isaiah….Our boy who was created by God for God, has been placed in his forever home.  

China is only special needs adoptions if you don’t know. Isaiah has a medical condition that will be ok. But somehow today it is weighing heavy on my heart (though I know God calls us to it and brings us through it). Funny thing is thing I appreciate even more now, ironically, I would have been considered a special needs child. Being born with a mild hearing loss and with 5 sets of tubes in my ears as a child, this effected my hearing. My mother had to do lots of stuff when I was a a young child such as weekly trips to speech therapy and doctors appointments. Her patience and time is what allowed me to thrive.  I appreciate her dedication deeply because nothing set me back. Sure a few moments in life, kids can tease and be mean and that hurt my feelings here and there, and sure if I could have normal hearing I would take it today, but who overall cares. I am fine. I live a wonderful life. I am thankful for parents who could care and provide for me. And here I am…I had 2 healthy biological children, and Ryan and I have chosen the path of adoption…would I have ever predicted this for my journey? Probably not. But God has bigger plans!. Isaiah is a healthy kid, smart child, adorable personality, and big heart because he loves us and laughs hard. I read this today in my devotion and really hit home for me - there is something in our heartsGod IS AND WILL be doing, I know and believe that 110% so I am going to trust Him: “…and sometimes we do not understand any more than that God is praying in us, for something that needs His touch and that He understands”. 

I have officially left my comfort bubble created. But in truth, God would’ve popped that bubble at some point. Rightfully so, in the bubble I can’t grow. My mother and Meemaw always said, ‘difficulties  prove character’. Aint that the truth. It is what ultimately shakes us into the next big thing. We often need a nudge right? So I know in my heart, I know HE is about to birth a new  courage and strength in both my role as a mother, wife, and believer…will be worth it all. It is just the saying “easier said that done” that gets me on a shaken day. Galatians 5:25 dedication: I want to walk in step with the (holy) spirit..and tap into all that I need for this walk! This long, faithful, eventful, exciting, and daring walk with God. Hand in hand…here we go. 

Keep sending your prayers over us! Daily! 

Wednesday 9:30am

So in this process of adopting internationally + orphan, the days go well for the most part but there are transitions moments that often occur, all part of the process. These transitions require patience, love, and lots of prayers. As with anything, a negative moment can outweigh all the goods if we let them. I have learned to resist that. The tears try to wash away the good times, but that’s not how it should be. I realized today, those are the very times, the small 10% of times its ok to shed tears but all the while, confess the promises we are given, and speak in faith knowing that eventually our heart will line up with what we speak. It is so much easier said than done. But there is hope in that, versus the other method of self pity that brings me no where but down. As a mother, I just want my kids to be happy. I want my family to be happy. I want to enjoy life as intended. Don’t we all? Ryan and I sat this morning at our window, it has an awesome view of the city, and prayed for another GOOD DAY. Yesterday was GREAT! It truly was! We got Isaiah’s visa, we had a great afternoon at this amazing Japanese BBQ place, and we had fun. Our kids had fun, Isaiah bonded with everyone not just me, and it was fun!!! FUNNNNN! Yay! I get excited for the good moments. 

Today is our last day. Tomorrow we leave. Ahhhhh I CANT WAIT TO GET HOME!!!!!!!!!! I can’t say it enough. It will be a big time of transition. Isaiah will officially begin to feel as we have, the languages will change, the peoples looks will change, and all that he is use to will change. We will probably be confined to our home for a couple weeks in the slow transition, and I am praying we can slowly draw out from there. It’s a patience process. Requiring for me to daily tap into the resources God provides, to get us through. So exciting to see what lies ahead.

At breakfast the cutest thing happened. Isaiah turned to the waitress and said HEYYY. She looked and smiled, then he blew her a kiss. We laughed, it was hilarious. He does this thing also where if he likes something he is eating or drinking he makes this really funny face and laughs. He also kicks his feet. This morning at breakfast we also noticed he pushed his bowl of yogurt away that was half full, this is huge! It means he is no longer devouring the food for the sake of making sure he eats, he truly is beginning to trust us and knowing he will get his next meal and plenty of it (compared to the first day he devoured 3 bowls of yogurt and didn’t come up for a breath). 

Baby steps. Life is full of them. It is so easy to want things now. I am known for that. Ryan and I were talking this morning and I told him I realized in the past I used the gift of faith of try to get what I wanted or thought was best, now I will use it to trust firmly when things don’t always make sense. Instead, learning to pray the desires of my heart but while trusting that God’s will is best in whatever way that unfolds. And when it doesn’t make sense, I will learn to stand feet firmly planted, because I know now, more than ever, that is when faith works best.

Praying for a good day today, it is Wednesday 9:30am here, and it is off to a good start!