Little taste of heaven....

Friday Night (12 hours ahead of Baton Rouge) 

WE ARE HERE! Change was so needed and we are so so so so so so so much happier in Guangzhou. Oh my gosh I can’t even begin to tell you. For several reasons perhaps many. Hangzhou was beautiful and our hotel was fabulous full of kind staff and all…but over all it was not easy to travel to. However, I think it’s always neat to see how when we go through something uneasy or hard..it makes the happy part taste that much better. So that’s where I AM. Ryan would agree!!!! Hangzhou was hard and I had a lot of tears there if I am being honest (homesick and sad experience plus jet lag plus transition), the one thing I never realized would get to me also so much was all the staring. We were constantly stared at, even if curious looks. It was ALLLL DAY long, head turning looks some cold stares too. At the airport last night I was at the end of my rope with it. I literally stared back at a few people ;-) and it worked, I know rude of me oops! But they did looked away. Ryan and I both agree, it kinda put things in perspective for us. When you feel like the odd man out whether it is because different look, ethnicity, a disability, a physical feature…whatever it is…stares can become hurtful and almost over whelming. I laughed at it at first…but after 5 days of it all day long…it was enough. I can only imagine how one feels after a lifetime of it. Something to think about…always. A smile goes a long way. A kind welcome/hug/kind word even further. Ryan and I both agree, we will ALWAYS keep that in mind! ALWAYS. The friendly people warmed my day.

I have so much to tell on this new place! From the best things, to the realization of things to the funniest things! Funniest first! David here in China, told us that Ryan may have some women approach him while here to take pics with him because he is considered handsome, his blonde hair and all. Sure enough, Ryan was approached and asked if they could take a picture with him. He even had a woman follow him saying you’re handsome I can’t stop following you. Hahaha. Odd. Good laugh.

This is a busy and GREAT city. 15 million people! It is a hub for many people all over the world, it is a big trading city here. So it is a beautifully blended place.

Saturday morning: 

We ate breakfast together and then walked out the hotel today and strolled all over. Ryan and I prayed this am “God please give this family a good day today. Please let these hearts continue to make memories and build trust… WE LEFT THE HOTEL AND found lots of cool things.We walked around and found a cool underground mall, their malls are not like ours, they are very modern and have lots of great restaurants (not chains). We found a great kids toy store and the kids got to pick out some toys. Imagine the prices…here things such as Fischer Price are so much cheaper than US. They had fun getting some new ones for the room. They also had this INCREDIBLE supermarket in the mall, it was like a Wholefoods times 10! They have an attendant on every aisle to help you. Very fun experience. The kids tried some food, pan sautéed sea weed and homemade rice cakes. It was fun. People are also friendly here. That’s refreshing. Remember that prayer we started off with…well it was a GREAT day. Ahhh…one day at a time. It was a great day, we will pray again tomorrow morning that one is too. One. Day. At. A. Time. Period.

I had many little moments where Isaiah’s face, smile or giggle brings moments where I realize ‘that sweet face, yes this is real’. He is our son forever. It’s scary and exciting all in one……. I remind myself of Isaiah’s name and meaning Isaiah 25:1 – God created these plans long before I realized they  ever existed so I can keep walking knowing He will take care of us every step of the way. God picked Isaiah for us and us for him. He loves our precious son so much, he paved the way to forever connect us all from across the world in a city of millions, while forever changing us all in the process. I love that when we give him our hearts and surrender in the place of need, he creates every little connecting dot with a purpose. So instead of just adoption it becomes about: Isaiah healing, Ryan and I growing, Caden learning about life, grandparents experiencing a new love, faith growing in a different way, flaws being exposed for restoration, peace being given in a supernatural way…it’s full of depth. It isn’t just one thing at work..it is MANY. 

So this morning, I prayed to have little taste of heaven moments over and over throughout the day today, and I have. Here are a few…

• This pic of Ryan and Isaiah was so sweet. Yesterday was full of great moments of them connecting. Thank you for praying that. A man has to really walk in faith in this process not having the same maternal instincts we do. I have not only seen Ryan’s faith grow, but his heart, his dedication to his family, and his compassion. I have fallen more in love with him over it. This picture luckily was captured, when he was feeding Isaiah. 
• His laugh, it is contagious. When he laughs, he laughs really big. His eyes squint almost shut and he squeals and does this really cute belly laugh. It makes me laugh. I laugh even harder when Caden then chimes in and does this fake laugh so he can laugh with him. Why are laughs so contagious? I don’t know but its great. 
• He is adjusting so well. He has moments where he is frustrated and tired, but over all, he is doing so well. He feels safe with us. A great start because that is very uncommon. It is really hard with the food issue, but we have gotten it down pretty well to be able to keep him feeling secure. He trust us. It’s a great thing. 

Sunday:

Today was a blast. We ate breakfast then went to explore and found so much interesting stuff on our walk. Ryan and I do agree that while traveling across the globe is not cheap and not easy with kids, it is so well worth every bit because you and your children get exposed to the ways of so many people around the world. You meet the neatest people and see the coolest things. We saw all kinds of things this morning. Sunday seems to be a day people just draw to this area. We saw a group of women singing in a park like a choir, we saw about 50 ping pong tables set up in a park with people playing matches, we saw groups of dancers all performing almost as if it was their version of line dancing, lots of street performing and exercising routines. It was just interesting. I mean I can’t explain it. The kids were mesmerized. People love to fly kites here too. Each morning several go up in the air and even from the top of buildings and you can see them all in the sky. 

More things we learned today about Isaiah:

• His little personality is starting to shine more and more. In an orphanage, the children stay in cribs a lot of the day if the caregivers have many children. Luckily Isaiah is walking and thriving because it isn’t always the case because of the crib confinement. He is doing well. He is so smart. He likes to play games and build things.
• Oddly enough, he likes to line us his toys in a perfect row just like Caden does, he likes to observe things just like Caden, he likes to mimic things just like Caden too. So as a result, we can tell him words and he catches them quickly, It is really cute he says YAYYYYYY when he is happy or does something fun. He says “dank you” for thank you. He calls me Baba which means daddy, not sure why, haha, but he calls me that a lot and reaches for me. It is sweet. 
• He loves the water. He has a blast in the bath tub so we finally took him swimming. He and Caden had so much fun. HE LOVESSSS swimming. He is not afraid of the water at all. If anything he has a little thrill seeking side. Great. I am in so much trouble with my 3 dare devil strong willed children. Game changers for the world but my 18 years will carry big adventures in parenting. He jumped from the side of the pool and had that big squinty eyed smile and he screamed with excitement when I caught him. It made me happy. This child is experiencing so many FIRST TIME fun things. He deserves them all and many more to come.
• Isaiah reached for Caden in the pool, he hugged him. Caden hugged him back, they just hugged for like a full minute. Caden looked at me and said, “mama, Isaiah knows how to hug me”, talk about melt my heart. 

Seeing life through the eyes of a child, Caden, is what I strive for. It is pure innocence at best. They don’t worry about a thing. Life is just living in the moment. Here we are across the world, adopting, in a foreign city…andnd the child sees nothing different and his heart is pure joy just being emerged in the day to day adventure. I want that. I have been challenged to the core in extending faith and trusting God is and always will be in control, even when I think  I am, I can’t be more wrong.  Caden has constant happiness in the simplest things. I am so glad he came with us. He calms my heart. He is the sweetest child. He has truly been a gift to me and Ryan on this trip and is a gift to Isaiah because he just loves him. 

Love is patient. Love is kind. Love is pure. 

More to come. Thank y’all for praying. I promise every single one is pouring into our lives. This child has just peace,joy and trust. Patience, wisdom, security keeps flowing in. Caden is covered in peace and joy! Isaiah could be fretting, fearful, crying and scared…nope He has God’s hand of favor. The flight from Hangzhou to Guangzhou started off rocky in the airport but even our 2 delays were significant, our kids got tired and fell asleep on the plane ride. Isaiah’s first flight. Please do keep praying for these things and I will continue to share so you can be encouraged that your prayers are powerful and I hope if you ever need me to pray for you, you will always ask! The least I can do!!!

Keep praying for tomorrow (Monday)

Medical exam a process of adoption

Our trip to the zoo to be fun for Isaiah and Caden

Our few days before we leave, peace, happiness, fun memories, patient hearts, no anxiety, and a PEACEFUL PLANE RIDE HOME!!!!!

Thank you.

they finally meet!

These two!!!

It’s Friday 10:30am (Louisiana Thursday 10:30pm). Isaiah is taking a nap and Ryan and Caden went out to do some one-on-one time. I am sitting in the dark so why not go ahead and journal. I am thankful I get the time to do this because I know it will be so valuable that I have this all documented one day. I am so forgetful these days, so to know the raw real emotions will really bring such a grateful heart when Ryan and I look back and think man….Remember that time…what felt so shaky in China was the start to one (of three) of the GREATEST THINGS in our lives, our children!  

We had fun yesterday. We had nothing to do so it was nice. We strolled to explore and came across a cute little area. A play area where they let us take the kids in and ride some rides and play. Isaiah looks up to Caden he copies everything he does already. From the slides to any little action big or small if Caden does it he does it. Caden melts my heart over and over with how sweet he is with him. He adores him. Wakes each morning with a LOUD WHISPER that I somehow cannot persuade him to turn it down a few notches…begging to wake Isaiah up to play. I love that Caden has a brother and adores him. I love that Isaiah went from not having a family to having ones that will love him for all of his life and always be there for him. It’s just a great feeling. So many good things ahead. Rocky start but we will get there….

We are leaving today to head back to Guangzhou where we flew in from Los Angeles. To be honest, the flight can’t get here soon enough. The change of scenery will be so nice. It is so hard to leave the hotel during the day, and Isaiah got a diaper rash from us feeding him to much for the day we got him (we didn’t know he was only eating rice cereal, rice, and yogurt each day). So that has confined us quickly and we have extreme cabin fever. In Guangzhou we get to take Isaiah and Caden to the zoo and do a few other fun things. So change is NEEDED. We are also extremely home sick. I get teary just typing “homesick”.  It is so wonderful yet so hard to be away from Lane, out of our comfort zone with a very strong language barrier and all in the middle of such a big change and of course every girl wants her mama deep down…whether 13 or 37 ;-) I am so thankful for FaceTime. Seeing Lane kiss the phone and smile at me every day keeps me going.

We were driving in the van today to do some final paperwork here and Isaiah reached for me and laid his head on my shoulder and just laid there on me. These little moments of affection go a long way for a mama trying to connect with her child. Adoption of a toddler, an orphan, is a process of people truly embracing God’s supernatural ability in letting him bind hearts to form a deep love, the same way we do when we hold that baby in the delivery room. Our delivery room moment just came two years later and we are catching up for lost time. Each day, tapping into the resources God provides for us. Some days I wake up and it’s hard and some days I wake up and the sun is shining so bright, Ryan and I are a strong team…we make a good one. I am proud to say that. Isaiah has woken up every day smiling at Caden. The peaceful face is a great sign that we are making him feel secure. I take no credit for that though…we prayed long and hard with many people that God would fill the room with His presence so that Isaiah felt secure and safe. Amen for those friends who can see the fruit of their prayers coming to life! I can’t thank you enough! It’s rare that happens. A lady here shared they adopted a little girl, same age, who cried all the way from the day they picked her up all the way back to the US. I can’t even begin to process the pain on both sides of that story. 24 hours was hard enough for us. That’s why I continue to ask for your prayers. Patience is so key here for all of us. Isaiah is learning to love us. We are learning to love him deeply and forever. It’s awesome.  

 

 

We smile, laugh, and relish every little thing that is joyful each day. Ryan and Caden were standing in the bathroom doing something and we have this glass window into the room from it, Isaiah saw them and ran up to it, waving saying HEYYYY and then blowing kisses (thanks GG) and it was so sweet.  I just stopped and adored that precious moment. It warms our hearts. I need a lot of those. Because they make me feel secure, they are my God winks. He is telling me, ‘Jeanne I am here with you. Just trust me and keep walking on the water…if you keep your eyes on me…I’ll lead you every step of the way’. Sigh….I find peace in that. I often tell myself peace is not the absence of trouble, it is the presence of God so when I really learn that secret I will have finally hit the jackpot. I am trying. I am trying. Getting closer. Adoption is dear to God’s heart they say, and it is truly life changing from the inside out. It turns your world all kinds of ways but my gosh what starts off messy and shaky and heart breaking becomes this thing in your heart.the realness and the calling coming to light. We were called to it, and HE WILL BRING US ALL through it… I will say I have learned so much in my last few days…about life. I thought I knew a lot…I couldn’t have been more wrong….Thank you God for opening my eyes. Thank you.  

They laugh non stop and Caden is so sweet!

Random play ride I have never seen before ;-) they loved it!

Please pray for a few things if you will or have a minute:

Peace : over all of us. We travel today and head home after that. I am asking for your deep prayers for a peaceful flight. That the children sleep, we leave 9:30pm so it can happen! Pray with us! Peace and sleepy babies..so they are rested. And so mom and dad can have rest too.

Isaiah has some food security issues so we have to be careful with what he eats. That has been hard on me and Ryan. He wants food all the time. We can’t deprive him of it, as we want him to trust us, but we have to monitor it in small bits so while he feels secure he isn’t upsetting his stomach with all the changes I food and environment. That has been hard. But it’ll work out. Pray for wisdom for us here, discernment too. Types of foods, patience, understanding. An orphan experiences a lot that is hard to understand, so we are trying to follow the text book ways so he feels secure, understands that he will eat again and never go without, and that he can trust us. This is a child who cried in his cribbed and likely wasn’t comforted. He doesn’t wrap his legs around me when I pick him up, so I am not sure he was held this way. The caregivers often are careful to not have the children get to attached. So perhaps this is why. I often rub his back, Ryan and I give him kisses, these are things he didn’t have before. He will learn what affection feels like, so please keep praying for ALL OF US, to receive and give love to each other. Bonding, continuously.

Me & Ryan! Luckily Caden is over jet lag and sleeping until 6:15 am now but I have been so sleep deprived. Ryan too. The changes, nerves, excitement, and intimidation of this all just stir me a little. I just want to make sure I am doing it all right…each time I start to over think…I remind myself – TODAY IS ENOUGH…pray and focus on today to get through as He promises for us…tomorrow has enough worries of its own. One. Step. At. A. Time. 

More GOD WINKS. They are so refreshing. They just make us have that peace we long for that we get when we are home around family and friends. So send those our way! His presence is serene, the winks are so comforting. 

Our arrival home. Lane to feel her place immediately and for Isaiah to just feel a sense of comfort in our home, among my family and friends. God promises to go before us, I feel He did that on the way to China and I seek for Him to do it again as we take our boy home. 

I am clinging to my Meemaw’s saying today…God is to good to be unkind, to wise to make a mistake, and when I cannot trace His hand, I can always trust His HEART. I know He is here with us. I do. My day is a little shaky today but HE IS HERE.  Thank you for your prayers. Please know I mean that from the bottom of my heart. So much more I could share but the page would go on and on…so Ill end here. Soon enough more to come..on to the next city and one step closer to home!

Keep sending prayers to CHINA :-)



They sent Caden a birthday cake!

He is mesmerized with the IPAD already

at the park

 

Everyone is asleep. It is Thursday morning. Yesterday started off well but was a little difficult a moments throughout the day. We have a morning routine of heading to the hotel breakfast at 6:30am before anyone else arrives. This is the top floor, which has a gorgeous view of the city and lots of coffee! It has all kinds of foods and the kids enjoy it. Isaiah is beginning to get comfortable so he is going from the shy almost 2 year old to the rambunctious one who wants to get out of his seat. Our time went from an hour at breakfast to about 30 very quickly - this is good right?!! Each day brings new adventures. Keeps us on our toes? It is getting a little hard being confined to our hotel room but luckily Ryan and I try to take a moment each day to get out and enjoy something for an hour. We can’t really get out easily go see things with where we are in the process. We are just trying to take each day as it comes and each moment the same way. If all are in a good mood, we go for a stroll each morning all 4 of us and try to discover something. It’s relaxing and fun. Lots of people stare at us, head turns, haha. David told us we are foreigners and some don’t ever see, we stick out with blond hair! 

 

We do lots of play time in our hotel room and let the kids play, the floor space is spacious and they are comfortable there pulling out all their toys. We try to do dinner each night by stroller, but the hard part is trying to keep Caden awake past 5pm. Luckily this morning he woke up at 3:30am but he went back to sleep and is still asleep I think today all will sleep until 6am!!!! Of course I have been up though. I don’t mind as long as they sleep and I know I won’t have grumpy kids! ;–)

 

Yesterday, Ryan was sweet and let me get a massage. I am carrying some stress, obviously because in the midst of all our joy there is a lot of uncertainty. And uncertainty means lack of control to me! LOL. Not good for me…but GREAT for growth. I need it so challenge away challenge away. I am learning in the gentlest way to just live in today ONLY. I am such a planner, that I never really knew the things I needed to work on in me, until change happened in an instant. CHANGE IS UNCOMFORTABLE BUT GOOD. A motto for life. I have also learned that being protective of my flaws instead of being open to letting go and growing in them…will never allow me to blossom. There is a lot of freedom in letting go and pulling the walls down to those protective areas. There is a lot of liberty is realizing God shows us these areas not to be unkind but to let us grow beautifully as He designed us. Every season of life involves a chance to grow. Right when I thought this adoption/season had taught me all I needed to know, He showed me ‘girl the journey is just beginning’. Ryan and I will 110% grow in faith, love, respect, marriage, friendship, wisdom, and so much more from our sweet Isaiah. He will be a constant reminder to me that he coming into our lives took me from one place to a far better one. Thank you sweet boy. While we have lots of hiccups and bumps right now, this road is a beautiful one to great places for us all. It will all get better. It will….

 

Yesterday was hard; we realized that Isaiah eats a lot because…he is an orphan. We studied this and were told this. Luckily, yesterday Ryan visited the orphanage and was able to take photos of his first 2 years in what was his home and family (things he will inquire about when he is older) and he was able to ask questions about Isaiah. They cared for him so well. Isaiah's birth family loved him, it is likely by the facts of wha they know that poverty was an issue so this was a better life for him. Makes my heart so sad, but I find peace in knowing they loved him too. ...so he has been at the orphanage since 4 months old and he is almost 2 now. The orphanage explained his regime was very strict. The sleep, the 2 meals a day of rice, and kept quite simple. Ryan said the orphanage was actually a very nice one. So as a result yesterday we had to move all the snacks we brought and hide it in a drawer. He could see the food and wanted it constantly. He was fussy a few times throughout the day, as any child but it’s hard to not know is it because he is tired or sad? That can be hard. Ryan has been great. The types of life adventures definitely can strengthen a marriage. I am so thankful for him. 

 

So I close out before starting Thursday, our last day in Hangzhou where Isaiah is from….please keep praying for us. With lack of sleep, a delicate child, and a family spending time 24/7 in close quarters in a foreign country, can bring mental exhaustion at moments for this mom and dad. But the hotel staff has been amazing (we prayed for this) another God Wink! Pray for us to have peace, wisdom, favor, and protection over the next week before we come home. Pray for my little Lane too, you mothers know how hard it is to be away from our kids, I miss her so much :-(

 

 

Things we learned about Isaiah today:

 

•   He will eat just about anything and everything, EXCEPT MEAT! Likely he hasn’t been fed meat if ever. Ryan literally said before he gave him a bite of bacon, 'oh this boy will love him some bacon’, if you could have only seen Ryan’s heart break when he spit it out.  ;-( JK  - we will work on this when we get home…

•   I took Caden and Isaiah to the playground next door. This child is so smart you tell him once and he gets it! He learned to even swing in one try! Upon returning, he walked off the elevator and led the way to our hotel room. Does this almost 2 year old already remember all the turns and familiar doors to which one is ours? YES! He led us straight to our door about 2 lefts and a far walk down. Unreal. 

•   He says SI SHI a lot, which means thank you in Chinese. He picks up my water bottle and brings it to me and says SI SHI. 

•   He learns words quickly. Caden says a lot and Isaiah is already saying tickle, hey, thanks, ma….His favorite is HEYYYYYYY (southern already!)

•   He is attaching to both Ryan and I but if I walk out of sight he cries, he wants to make sure I am still there. I realize this will be an ongoing process as we adjust to building trust. However, I left yesterday for an hour and Ryan did awesome! AMEN TO THAT!

I hope I can encourage anyone reading this, as in any trial there is always a purpose. ALWAYS. God doesn’t allow disappointments and heartbreaks without a purpose. Ever. Bad things are not from him. But he takes the broken and builds it back even better when we let him and when we TRUST HIM. I have seen this in Isaiah. Gotcha day was depressing for Ryan and I. October 24 every year in between my Mom and Caden’s birthday will be a reminder of sadness for me. It was just not a good day for any of us. A lot of brokenness. But in that broken place is a beautiful chance to let God pick up the pieces and build something even better. I see now, that THINGS DO NOT happen overnight and things often don’t happen as we desire for them too, because we just don’t know best for ourselves, period. As we are a parent to our child, our HEAVENLY FATHER is to us. We are children learning how to live life. The obstacles and road bumps bring heavy hearts but ones full of joy and happiness when we dig in and find the rainbow underneath it all and THERE ALWAYS IS ONE if not many. Gold is refined through the fire, ground is broken before plowed, as so our life is shaken before it overflow full of His goodness. Whatever you are going through…just trust me, He is in control. If you ask for His help He will guide you, He is always with you. It’s such an amazing thing. I hope we all can continue to encourage each other and lift each other up! Life is full of beautiful paintings and each brush stroke in our lives creates one more stroke to seeing the bigger picture of it all. 

 

Keep praying for us!!! PLEASE! I miss my Lane. Adopting overseas is like having a baby but with no family with you so I get a little sad when I miss my family....but we are receiving so much favor and peace (hat is needed) from all of your prayers.

MY DEVOTION TODAY how fitting

A GREAT TUESDAY!!!!!

 

 

 

Tuesday October 25 -

So today has been SO AWESOME! I could shout it from the roof tops. Seriously! I would if they had a roof and I don’t care if I would look crazy that is how excited I am. So we went to sleep last night turning a corner and today we woke up a brand new day. As I mentioned, I learned yesterday had enough worries of it’s own so today when I woke at 2am and Caden woke at 3am and we went into the bathroom area to play  for TWO HOURS so we didn’t wake Isaiah and Ryan….I prayed a lot. Please please Lord, let today be a good one. Let him wake up not afraid and let a bridge of trust be formed…would you believe JUST THAT HAPPENED??!!

So Ryan says ‘Jeanne he is awake come see’. When Isaiah wakes up he just lays there he doesn’t try to stand up out of his crib. We walked up and gently talked to him. Telling him good morning, smiling, and watching his face for a reaction. It was a calm face. A rested one. He slept 9 hours and it was like he woke up pleased to see us! AMEN! No way! Yes this did just happen! Then he came out of the crib and smiled when he saw Caden. EVEN BETTER! My heart just settled into place. The anxiety basically slipped away. It was such a good feeling. Food is trust for Isaiah. So we quickly fed him breakfast. He and Caden played non stop. I HAVE NEEVR HEARD TWO KIDS LAUGH SO MUCH!!!!! It was over and over. Laughing, being silly, and just having fun, like brothers should.

Now one thing that happened today did shake ryan and I both. We went to take a family picture, for this adoption application process. Isaiah and Caden laughed the whole car ride, the minute we stepped out and he saw the photo place he started crying. He screamed and pointed to leave the store. He kept pointing. I felt so bad. Ryan and I just sensed there was something reminding hymn or scaring him that we may be leaving him. I walked back out on to the street and held him and as long as he looked away from the store he was content. If I turned and he saw it he cried. Screamed. Ugh. Having to go back in and walk up the long flight of stairs was torture!!!! He cried the whole way and during the pics. Ryan kept saying he will build his trust when we leave and he sees he is coming with us. So true. But gosh, not easy. As soon as we left, and got in the car, the boys started giggling and laughing the whole way home. I felt bad for our driver ;-) — one thing I have noticed is that having a little brother has brought out SO MUCH MORE ENERGY IN CADEN! I mean bouncing off the walls now. 

We have to visit the building we left yesterday, ugh, but prayers Isaiah doesn’t remember and we can get in and out! The paperwork is nearing the end. Please do keep praying for favor, bonding to continue here for the next 9 days, patience among all for the sleep is semi-deprived with Caden being a little off on time, and continued favor for all. This is a journey that as they say “it takes a village” to pray our way through it. Next time I hear someone adopting and going over seas…I will for sure be praying non stop. It is an awesome, God powered, type of trip that requires a lot of physical and emotional preparation. I am so thankful for so many who have prayed. Seeing Isaiah and Caden sit at breakfast this morning and eat and laugh and smile at each other, and seeing Caden beg to sit by him at the breakfast table … brought tears to my eyes. I thought in less than 24 hours we have seen such progress. This is so big! HUGE! It’s not normal. It is God’s hand. Divine favor pouring over us. Oh my gosh I am so thankful. Yesterday was so hard. It tested my faith to the core…and now He has reminded me…my child I AM WITH YOU, I will never leave or forsake you. Thankful.

Please keep sending prayers to us!!! PLEASE! They truly give us peace. Ryan and I can’t thank you enough.

 

* He discovered sunglasses and loves them

 

Wednesday, October 26

 

The start of a great day! I cannot believe I am saying this but I got to sleep until 4:30am!!!!! Isaiah sleeps well it is Caden who was waking up at 2am. SO yesterday we napped everyone and kept them up until 8pm and then they all slept. It would have been later than 4:30am but Isaiah made a few wimpers and eventually we realized he wasn't awake he was instead having a bad dream. Caden wanted to go to the rescue. He gets really excited each morning about having Isaiah with us. This morning my heart exploded when we were watching Isaiah slowly wake up and letting him know gently we were with him, that Caden said "Isaiah God is watching over you and I am going to lay next to your crib to protect you"! Oh my gosh I just tear up writing that. I prayed deeply when I was pregnant with Caden that he would have a heart of compassion, the greatest servant hearts come from having love for ALL people. So when I heard that comment, I not only melted but I was thanking God! THANK YOU! This precious boy loves and wants to protect Isaiah. I have so much to be thankful for every day all day. I can hardly hold my tears back right now just watching these boys play, run around the room together, and they seriously laugh non stop at each other. Here are a few photos and please keep praying for us...pray for peace, comfort, bonding to continue, and most of all please please please pray ahead for the flight home. It will be his first time on a plane for 12 hours home. PRAYERS WORK POWERFULLY. God hears our cries for others and each other...and I promise as each is answered I will share them with you!!!! Thank yall and for anyone reading this...we love you and are so grateful for you thinking of us. 

 

 

How WE MISS THIS BABY GIRL SO MUCH!!

 

 

China...continued HERE HE IS!

(Sorry for grammar errors etc I have limited time and want to update quickly!)

Where to begin? I don’t really even know. Today has been such a roller coaster of emotions. I have learned in such a short time a few powerful life things. Im speechless. Utterly drained. And oddly uplifted.  Here it is….here I go!

I learned today…sometimes we pray for our heart’s desires, then it is best to submit for God’s will to be done and trust.

I had created this prayer, vision, and truthfully I had painted this picture of how today would be. I went in knowing that it was going to beat all odds, and our son would turn the corner and our hearts would melt and we would just all love each other instantly with no problems. That he would have an open heart toward us and accept us despite his situation. I believed the supernatural in it all. The thing is how I painted it, has begun to happen, but instead of the whole picture being painted, the brush strokes have just begun. I get it. I get it now. So many have shared their adoption stories and I now get it…adoption is about having a heart of patience, compassion, understanding and most of all faith to trust God works every single detail out from start to finish.

 

 

Today:

We arrived the governmental offices. It is a fairly simple process. You walk into a big rooms where there are several other families waiting for their children from various orphanages. We walked in and saw a family adopting their third child. Their son was quite shy but the other 2 were so sweet and warming him up slowly. It was refreshing and motivating. Then we saw another family come in and meet their daughter, who took to them right away. Perhaps they had been speaking to her often or she knew of them ahead since she was quite older. She was happy. They were all tearfully acquainted. It too was refreshing. Then we saw another older couple adopting an older girl, they were a precious couple who had adopted many years ago and decided to again. Great people. The girl came in, and she was in tears the whole time. It broke our heart. All of a sudden it was the reality, these children do leave all they know. It may be an orphanage but it’s their home. It had been that little girl's for a long time. She cried and cried having to leave her caregiver. Me and Ryan were so sad. My heart all of a sudden realized what could happen. However, I kept hanging on to the picture I painted. Everyone had met their children and we were waiting for our Isaiah. He was the last to arrive. I couldn’t wait to have our meeting video recorded for the joyful match made in heaven. Then it was…he came in. He saw us. He cried. He cried. He cried. He wanted his caregiver and while I was able to calm him down, I couldn’t get him to warm up to Caden and Ryan yet. My painting, my vision, it crumbled. My heart was broken. I was stumbling and a little thrown off. But I KNEW IN MY HEART…Ryan knew in HIS…God chose us for this. This journey was designed and we saw the miracles and possibilities unfold one by one. If you have time to ever hear them you will understand, they were definitely divine. So how could this be this way? I prayed against all these things that were happening. My heart was heavy. I was sad for the other children and now heartbroken for my own child. This is real. This is beyond real. These children leave the little they have and they are just gut wrenched. The whole way home I held him. Getting out of the office we were in and getting to the comfort of our hotel room couldn’t have happened soon enough. We got back to the hotel and caden and Isaiah began to connect. Our hearts started to melt over the laughs and the smiles. It was happening! Yes! Ok great! He ate well! Actually quite a bit! Then it was nap time. He fell right asleep. I prayed the entire 2 hours. My heart was just so broken. I was speechless. I then prayed…I get it Lord, it will be more powerful for me to begin to pray for your will to be done. I finally get it. I disappoint myself when I create this way for how you should do it. My heart’s intent is to walk in faith, but faith is not hoping for what we want, but faith is instead trusting regardless of the outcome. I am currently at that door! Here I am. Here I am. I get it. My  heart is grieving and joyful all for YOUR purpose.....

 

SO when he woke from his nap, it all started again. His heart grieved. He opened his eyes to the strangers he just met instead of his caregiver and he was sad again. I laid him next to me and showed him my iPhone with cartoons, he was mesmerized. His little face was sweet. He was a little standoffish with us all…but slowly warmed up again. Ryan and I loved on each other and Ryan encouraged me to keep walking in faith. He said the most powerful thing I will forever hold close, the test of stretching our faith began when we left with Isaiah. I had thought it was all the way up until we came to China, again, when I pen my own story the plot is never consistent ;-)

Whatever you may be thinking…just know this. This walk might appear fearful to many, but adoption is an amazing thing..the details involve faith and growth every step of the way! Today, in a A short time of heaviness and heartache we have already turned a corner. my heart is so full! I am in awe. Prayers are powerful, God’s plan is even more…I knew all along that if we had this many praying there has to be a purpose and this has to be ok …but heartache makes the vision fuzzy. It is always easier said than done! Well this evening was amazing….bath time had caden and Isaiah laughing and playing! Then we put on matching PJS and strolled them to the coffee house across the street. They loved the stroll. They played with their toys and had a blast. Isaiah came home to the hotel and ate up his dinner and let us feed him, hold him ,and love on him. His heart is softening toward us already! He is slowly trusting us. Caden adores him and he thinks Caden is just as funny as Lane does. IT IS SO HEART WARMING!!! Oh my gosh..I can’t begin to tell you all these little things just making me so happy! I see the beautiful brush strokes in the works. They're beautiful. How much better is it to watch it being painted? Well it is…harder to do but its better. This day started heavy but I know without a shadow of a doubt...God went before us and continues to be with us! Tonight our family began to knit it's hearts together!

 

More to come. I know each day is going to get better! I feel it. Your prayers are powerful! Please keep sending them our way!!!

What I learned today:

• Today has enough worries of it's own. Take one day at a time and each day pray for the strength and wisdom 
• Believe if God brings you to it, He will bring you through it
• If God gives you a calling it is safer to obey than to live comfortably in our own plans, it may not always be easy but He will give you all you need to get through it and grow from it
• A storm or season is the reason for why we ultimately end up closer to Him. Blessings await at the end of them.
• Uncomfortable is good, it is God chartering you into new territories
• Where you lack ability to do in your own strength, let go and let God 

China....

China…

 

I am taking a minute while on the plane to Hangzhou. This is where Isaiah lives. I wanted to document our journey for our children’s sake, and figured if I actually get this written I’ll plan to share! You all have been part of the reason this journey has been so joyful…your prayers and your good vibes all together!

Hmmmm so our excursion began last Wednesday with Guangzhou a husband and an almost 4 year old venturing from a 4 hour flight to LA, a trip to the Santa Monica pier, a few stops at my favorite SM spots, to an hour drive to Disneyland, to a 15 hour flight overseas to Guangzhou China. 

Where is Guangzhou you ask? It is semi close to Shanghai to put in simply. It is close to 10 million in population. We are 12 hours ahead. We hopped off that plane, luckily caught a good night’s sleep since we didn’t sleep much on the plane. That is until our sweet Caden decided he was wide awake at 2am! Thank goodness for iPads is all I can say. He was content to spend the next 2 hours watching cartoons while daddy and I slept!!! 

 

 

We are so fortunate our agency, IFS, sent a fabulous man named David from Guanzhou over to the airport to pick us up and cannot to basically serve as 24/7 side kick and partner on this China journey. Where he goes we go, where we go he goes. He  not only steps in to translate for us but he has already educated us so much about the country, culture, and more! 

Since we were up before the birds this am, we decided to head down to breakfast at 5:30am before flying out (Sunday) to Hangzhou. This was an awesome culture experience. The hotel’s loaded Chinese breakfast buffet had everything the Chinese people eat it was so fascinating. And by the way they are not big coffee people here, they prefer tea! And as David said this am, and what we noticed right away, is many forego even tea and eat soup for breakfast! That is their liquid intake as he said. Soup for breakfast! What I am more mesmerized by, is the fact they can get by without the caffeine. How I wish!!! Their coffee is quite mild too, 5 cups is equal to our 1 or maybe Ryan and I are already tired?! I can’t tell if so because our adrenaline and excitement have us moving right along! A quick visit to countries in Europe or China make me often realize how us Americans are addicted to speedy lives and busy minds (i.e. COFFEEEEE!!!! MORE OF IT!!!). Even the airport is more calmer and slower paced here than ours back home. Mind you, an airport in a city of 10 million!

We loved breakfast with David. It was insightful and fun! Caden as picky of an eater as he is, he amazingly ate a big breakfast! AMEN to that! Caden has been such a light for us. We miss lane so terribly. In the nerves of excitement in getting Isaiah, quickly bring me back to those same I had before heading to the hospital to deliver Lane. Ryan and I both agree…it’s a new emotion but the same in terms of joy for a new child. Caden has been so much fun. He even speaks a few Chinese words well, like his daddy he can mimic well! He has learned “don’t touch” already….so he can make sure Caden doesn’t touch his train track when he gets home. ;-) He has eased our anxiety in leaving Lane, he has been our joy in sharing in this excitement. Caden is so precious…I am so thankful for this one on one time we have had!!!!!! God is so good, He truly has arranged every single detail when I wasn’t even aware that He was. I get humbled so quickly when I realize how undeserving I am and HOW MUCH he covers us in faith and favor every step on the way in our life and specifically this calling for our family.

So here we are…Sunday morning, landing in Hangzhou. I am about to wrap up and as we are headed to the hotel next. We will be here for 5 days. TOMORROW (Monday Oct 24) we will be headed to the city court where we will pick up Isaiah. David will be taking us, he said the process is quite simple. Caden has Isaiah’s toys all picked out to bring. Thanks to sweet English and William Luke, we brought Louisiana to China, a stuffed Alligator of course. We have suckers and a few other little knick knacks to show him. His grandparents also sent awesome gifts as well…we are blessed he is loved by both sets of grandparents already. They have been faithful in prayer.

We will get our sweet Isaiah…and life is about to change in such amazing ways. Even better, we get to watch our prayers all intertwine into this beautiful story. We get to watch God take what seems impossible and make it all possible, the bonding of our growing family! Caden has asked repeatedly if we can get him TODAY so I will be thankful when tomorrow comes! Soon enough…more to come. And TO TOP IT OFF GEAUX TIGERS!

GOD ALWAYS STARTS WITH YOU

James 4:10 Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.

One of my favorite verses of all times. Why? Because humility has been the key to so much success in my personal walk. It has improved my marriage, my friendships, my parenting, my character, and most importantly my walk with God. I have found through a humble heart I am able to recognize my faults, which make me so much more receptive to God's grace (undeserved blessings). Being in a place of understanding the gift of His grace and truly understanding that I will never be perfect but only through Him I am made whole...keeps me in a beautiful place of humbleness. 

Let me begin with my story....

Once upon a time, I was a strong-willed (still am), stubborn, defensive, determined, and quite a prideful know-it-all. Mix all that with a heart that is strong in compassion for others..and you get the girl who loved to help identify other peoples problems and try to change them, for their own good of course. As you can imagine, that proved to be helpful only a handful of times. In the end, I was exhausting myself trying to fix what I could NOT change. I was also causing some complications in my own relationships in the process of doing so. Not many people want to hear from a know-it-all, all the time. Not many people want to listen to someone talk more than they listen. Not many people want to be told what to do. Point blank.

Then one day...God used a situation in my life. The very pivotal turning point in my walk and the defining moment of the journey toward humility and growth. I was a woman always in control of my destiny. I took charge and got it done. Nothing stood in my way. So upon marrying the man of my dreams, then getting pregnant right away with my son, and having a new home we had settled into, it was time to begin the process toward having a second child. I was in control, and had it all mapped out. Here we go. (HALT). One year into our plan, there was still no pregnancy. It seemed difficult to understand when I got pregnant so easily with Caden. No amount of ovulation kit tests or calendar mark ups were helping. Every month, I would wait and a day late got those hopes high, which then soon dropped very low finding it was one negative pregnancy test after another. My desire to control was failing. I was exhausted trying to make the plan work as I had it laid out in my head. As anyone who has gone through this, knows that it can make a marriage strained or at least have more unpleasant moments than one desires. Then our poor husbands who try to encourage then always somehow say the wrong thing right?! SO one thing leads to another. It can be the make or break for many sadly, the pressure is intense. It can be the glue that loosens or binds the relationship. 

.....so I approached the conversation with Ryan about adoption. Those close to me know I was born with the deep desire for it. I have just always have wanted to adopt for as long as I have known. It was my heart and I thought if my PLAN A wasn't going to work then lets move to to the PLAN B I have longed for as well. We had a conversation. It started there and ended there. But as I mentioned, my determination, controlling, strong-willed nature began to press ahead without the consent of my husband. My plan was that I would convince him eventually. I didn't even think to consult, pray or hear his heart. So I pressed ahead, meeting with different friends who adopted, I began to layout the details, found an agency, signed on, and I just knew it was all going to happen the best way ever. Again, never once consulting with the 2 most important people in my life...my heavenly Father and Ryan! 

One day, my drive hit a wall and I had a melt down. I guess I was carrying the weight of so many things and the burden got to heavy. It was the burden that I was clinging so tightly to because I didn't trust that if I gave it to God as He required me to, He would give me my way. God's will didn't sound enticing to me at this season of my life. I was prideful. I was foolish. I was a lot of other things too. A wise friend of mine gave me life changing advice (I always suggest have wise and faithful friends during these times). He said "Jeanne, this may be a good thing but not a GOD thing. You have to make sure your husband is on board to know which one it is." There it was. My moment of truth. I knew the answer. I hadn't even asked my husband and I knew if I did he was going to say no. And sure enough, he did. His heart wasn't ready yet. Ryan needed time. So my plans, my future, my mapped out way beautifully designed by my controlling ways...came to a HALT. A complete stop. Red light. Not one step further......my heart was broken. I had a dream, and it all of a sudden felt it had gotten ripped away. 

I know now what I didn't know then...this heart break was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. It was the adversity that changed my life, for so much better. It was the moment God wept with me, but knew it was for greater purposes to grow me, my family, my marriage. I knew it in my heart, this was part of the plan. But oh how I dreaded it along the way...but as gold is refined through the fire...so was I.

In my brokenness, I woke up that very next day and made a plan...I got a journal, a devotional, and I started digging in. I knew I needed the comfort from God and I knew it was only Him who would be the one who could fill that unsettling place in my heart. I was sad, broken, and confused on what to do next. I soon after heard His words...the very words that have changed my life. Psalms 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God". Ok God...remember me...the busy body, the go getter who is determined, over committed, and quite an antsy woman? Be still? Like do nothing? Like just wait on my husband? What if he never comes around? What if we wait to long and I can't get pregnant ever and then we have wasted time? What if? What if? What if? Oh how the list went on....

It was bold. It was simple. I was to hear those words, BE STILL AND TRUST HIM...and every urge I had, was berated. And let me tell you, I became so aware of my nature to persuade, push, manipulate, and conquer my way. Wow. Every urge I was more and more alert IN why He called me to BE STILL: I learned to pray for our situation instead of trying to control it. I learned to pray harder on days I was sad. I learned to pray wiser for my husband and I learned to pray to love him deeper through it all. I found verses that were promising and every morning when I started my day with good devotions to encourage me, I prayed those verses over me, Ryan, Caden, and our future. I began to give THANKS instead of focusing on what I didn't have. It produced joy. I learned to change my perspective and instead of focusing on the obstacles. I asked God to help me find contentment and see the blessings I had instead of what I didn't have. My view changed. I learned patience, which is something I DO NOT have naturally. In doing so I learned to BE STILL and it has helped me  in times I am required to trust when I cannot see what He is doing. AND I KNOW NOW HE IS ALWAYS at the helm of ALL THINGS for ALL of us, every single bit of the way. He allowed the vulnerability of not being in control through my adversity, to change my heart, to teach me to love gently, to slow down and enjoy life, to surrender, to honor my husband, and to seek God at all times not just when I am hurting....and so much more. 

If you know my story, you know that my obedience to His command 'BE STILL', resulted in my husband feeling respected...and respect is LOVE to men. It resulted in a new found patience that also established in my heart. A great gift for life.  Ryan came to me when he was ready. His heart to adopt was then full of love for the mission. I got so consumed with selfishly writing my own story, I wasn't letting God write one through Ryan too. And what a beautiful one it was. I believe whole heartedly Ephesians 3:20 is so powerful in our lives....Ephesians 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do exceedingly abundantly above all that we ask or think, according to the power that works in us. So much that God knew the desires of our hearts, as soon as Ryan and I respectfully came together in obedience to what God was calling for us and our commitment (one and a half years later) that the very next month we found out we were pregnant...with our sweet baby girl Lane. God 3:20 blessed us with 2 kids instead of 1! How awesome is that!?


What do I walk away from all of this sharing with others? Here are some thoughts...I do sincerely hope they help you in whatever situation you may be facing, if one at all! I pray deeply that these words are anointed with favor because I know all to well the pain and discouragement that an obstacle of any sort in life can cause. Ultimately, we are not in control and when we feel helpless...it's a pivotal (life-changing opportunity) moment. It can be heavy, but it can be so so rewarding. 

1. WE MUST CHANGE BEFORE WE DESIRE OTHERS TO CHANGE
1. Had I focused on changing Ryan and his mind, I would have missed the opportunity to change myself. The biggest misconception is being so focused on the obstacle or the person we think needs to change, that we miss the greatest moment to humble ourselves and grow. 
2. Point your finger at someone and notice the 3 pointing back at you. When you choose to be humble enough to see the three fingers (your own flaws) pointing back at you...you will see that God will begin with you first!
3. Be humble: Pride is dangerous. If you won't change...your situations MAY NEVER change - James 4:10 
2. Don't focus on the problem – often the enemy uses the obstacle or the person to distract you and feed into your hurt or anger. Pray and focus on asking God how to improve you! Then use the two ears you have and listen more than you speak. If you listen with a humble heart...you can change the world and your problem will give way! Just watch! It works 99.999% of the time! God is faithful and as James 4:10 says, that humble heart WILL BE rewarded.
3. Ask God to show you what you need to change about yourself and your situation - When we cannot see what we need to change about ourselves, we should pray with a willing heart to have eyes to see what God sees – HE WILL REVEAL GENTLY & LOVINGLY, trust me! 
1. BE HUMBLE AND ACCEPT WHAT HE SHOWS YOU, it will be life changing 
2. Make time for God, He can't show you in a busy loud season. I received so much revelation through devotions, the bible, gut instincts, and even through my spouse...yes I asked my husband how I could grow and I received (walls and defense down)! God will show you and you will begin to tackle those areas in your life! My walk changed through God's favor and GRACE and that is what caught Ryan's eye...God used my obedience to work in Ryan's heart!
4. Be patient and wait - God is not a God of rush. He is never early, never late, but ALWAYS on time. He has our best interest at heart. Learning to trust HIM comes in these moments of waiting. 2 Cor 5:7 For we live by faith, not by sight
5. Be consistent and committed in prayer - respectfully give God your time daily (prayers, devotion, stillness). He requires you seek Him, He desires that because HE MADE YOU AND HE LOVES YOU AND HE KNOWS YOU BETTER THAN ANYONE. 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you - TRUST AND BELIEVE THAT!
6. God works through our actions NOT OUR WORDS - God works through our actions and people will always closely watch that, including our spouse. How we live is a reflection of God in us. People around us will have watchful eyes, especially the person in our life whom we are praying for. Change begins with you from the inside out...
7. Your story has a purpose. Always remember that.

 

Psalm 33:20-21 We put our hope in the Lord. He is our help and our shield.  In him our hearts rejoice,   for we trust in his holy name.