A praying WIFE

I love this man!

A praying wife...mother...woman....friend....the list can go on! But the role I take more serious than any other is praying for my husband. Often. Praying for a husband (or soon to be husband) requires dedication that is often times hard because we have so many distractions on our plate.  Praying as a single woman for your husband also takes dedication and faith that God will prepare both your hearts in embracing the joys and woes of dating and then marriage that follows.

This morning I felt a burden on my heart to write on this topic. God is faithful in steering our hearts if we will let Him, so here I am writing on something that I am quite passionate about.

I don't think I state anything new when I share that divorce rates are readily increasing. The most recent statistic revelaed 50% of marriages will end in divorce. I would be lying if I said that when I got married, my faith was first and foremost at the center of me and Ryan's marriage. It wasn't. I probably had a very selfish nature and if you ask Ryan I bet he would agree. My faith was definitely a part of my life and I often was mentored by dear family friends on the importance of a Christ centered marriage. But to be honest, I kind of blew it off (as a selfish person would do). It didn't suit my lifestyle for I figured Ryan learning patience on how to deal with me was the better answer. ;-)

If you ask me now...a short 5 married years later...plain and simple....I see now when Christ is at the center for both couples, it doesn’t exempt the problems but it helps draw toward the ways we should love and live for each other, which in turn will create more honor, forgiveness, respect, adoration and fruitfulness as a couple throughout the decades of marriage that lay ahead. I get it now. My selfish nature in marriage began to slowly transform through our adoption journey. Perspective changed and my ability to see flaws I needed to change within...is what helped me redefine myself and our priorities in our marriage....and as we all know marriage is always a work in progress.

Ryan and I are two very much in love but two very strong-willed people who couldn’t be more different in so many ways. Different is good but it is also very complex. Joyce Meyer once said of her marriage how different she and her husband were.  Once she and her husband were able to find their unity within their differences, she saw God's purpose and power in placing them together as "one". I strive for this goal daily. And it won’t happen by accident but it will happen with dedication and the commitment of being a praying wife. A healthy marriage can usually have a trickle down effect for generations.  Or could just go with happy wife happy life? ;-) jk jk....

The love of a family is one of life's greatest blessings

 How I strive to be a praying wife: 

1. Pray for a gentle and kind spirit for self – God always begins with you! I start with focusing on ways I can improve myself. One of life’s biggest deceptions is focusing on what others need to fix about themselves. It's a bait to complicating things. I use to be able list off all Ryan's problems before I realize I had a list of my own as well. Ask in your prayer time, ‘Lord how can I change me?’ Trust me, He will reveal. Just be open as it may be through a conversation with your husband, and if so don’t get defensive or offensive … just listen. It took me a long time to learn why God gave me two ears and one mouth. And a lot of times people are right and we just may not like hearing the truth! I had to change a LOT about me to show humility and God’s grace to my husband, and I still work on things daily. 
2. Pray for your husband to draw closer to God and to stir in him a passion for God and His word (Mark 12:30) - Our heavenly Father wants this even more way more than we do! He designed us to desire Him! So why not right? Well, God does give us free will, otherwise we would be robotic creatures and God’s loving nature to let us choose freely, would be taken. However, God is faithful and He loves marriage. He put us with our spouse and even when it seems murky, impossible, hopeless, and doomed…He can restore but it takes work and powerful prayers daily. While praying for yourself to change in #1 and we MUST ALWAYS BEGIN WITH US before we ask He work on them…then start to really pray daily for his heart’s desires. If your husband gravitates toward loving God more, most likely other things will begin to work into his heart. God is love, peace, joy, and so much more. So when He reigns in one’s heart…the fruit of the spirit begins to grow. Just have patience because nothing happens overnight. 
3. Create in my husband a constant desire for purity and to choose what is right.  Psalms 51:10 Create in me a clean heart, O God. Renew a loyal spirit within me - Life is hard at times. Period. It can be full of distractions, complications, emotions, and so much more. It is valleys of life right? While praying diligently for #2, I also pray that the right people come into my husband's life, these are the very people who can guide with wisdom and good advice. Men understand men. So what better than to have some who can get them and help guide them. Matthew 21:22 And whatever you ask in prayer, you will receive, if you have faith. 
4. Help my husband know how to balance the stresses of life, work, and family - Men are wired to be providers. It's in their DNA. When angry, be careful not to criticize even when you feel entitled to! Words are powerful and can make or break one’s spirit. It is ALWAYS better to walk away and not say anything than to say something you could regret. A husband desires to be a leader and a provider for you, regardless if he ever expresses that. So just know that and encourage and lift him up. My prayer is that God reminds him at times he tries to carry the weight of life, to cast his cares upon Him. 1 Peter 5:7 NLV Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 
5. Pray that God helps him to trust and submit so He can direct his paths - My Proverbs prayer: Proverbs 3:5–6 Help my husband to trust in you with all his heart, And not lean on his own understanding but in all his ways acknowledge YOU Father, And I believe with faith You will make his paths straight. Fill him with your wisdom in his job, his walk with You, his parenting, as a leader in our home – We should always pray our husbands will have wisdom, this is a guide daily for work, family, faith, parenting and so much more. Wisdom is confidence in daily decisions. James 1:5 NLV If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. This verse is a promise that God offers to us when we ask/seek. 
6. Protection over our marriage – As we know, there are opportunities to divide that surround us. I pray with deep faith that God protects our marriage and strengthens our marriage daily by making known to us ways Ryan and I can improve for each other Romans 8:31 If You are for us, no one can be against us –  if we believe that God is for us, then we are expecting the favor that He desires to give us within His will.
7. Keep my husband humble in all things – Humility is a beautiful thing. If you can think of someone you have met in life who was inspiring and yet humble, many were probably drawn to them right? It’s a gift to see someone humble and not defined by success, money, fame, or the things of the world! I love to pray that despite where Ryan goes from today and through the future, that he always has a kind and humble heart that will be a great example to our children and others. James 4:10 HUMBLES YOURSELVES BEFORE THE LORD AND HE WILL LIFT YOU UP
8. Bless him – I pray that as Ryan honor's God in his faith and daily walk, that he is blessed and with the desires of his heart! Blessings are gifts! God is a God of abundance who desires to give us so much when we are good stewards! Ephesians 3:20 - Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. 
9.  For him to honor me as his wife - As a wife who loves my husband and prays for him always, I pray for his constant desire to honor and love me too. We are all constantly at work in ways we can improve our marriage, but God will often put desires in our hearts too for the good of His plans and purpose. And if you read the stories in the Old Testament, God placed desires in hearts to help accomplish His fruitful plans. Ephesians 5:28 In the same way, husbands ought to love their wives as they love their own bodies. For a man who loves his wife actually shows love for himself.

Challenge:

Dedicate a couple days a week to focusing on praying specifically for your husband, soon to be husband, or significant other. Spend time really focusing on their needs, places of weaknesses they would love to be better, and even just praying where your heart leads for them. Then watch God go at work on your behalf! Patience, love, and dedication.....